Am in a vile mood and have to come to the conclusion it is me and not the rest of the world.
This doesn't help, as I'm still bloody pissed off with a huge number of people, for real (if somewhat ridiculous and overinflated reasons). My parents seem to be able to do nothing except go out of their way to make my life more difficult, and do nothing but tell me off for stuff (like owning books, failing to write thankyou letters, failing to get name on driving license changed) while not letting me say a word of negative comments to them (cf earlier car rants) without incredably over reacting and telling me not to talk about stuff as it's upsetting to Dad. So they're allowed to make me unhappy by thrusting my failings at me having blown them up out of proportion, and I'm not even allowed to talk to them about stuff the whole household needs to know about? And I'm pissed off at things that always need doing TM, like sandwitches, and coffee machines, and cleaning, and laundry, that just never stop, and I'm pissed off at CULES, who don't even see my last years worth of work as enough to justify trusting my belief that the society should spend 2.95 on an a-z, and for always keeping me out of the loop and for daring to refer to me as an old Cule, and I'm pissed off at Campus, for saying they need me, but then already having someone doing everything I could be doing bar sitting in stupid committee meetings that get us nowhere, and I'm pissed off at my maths, and I'm annoyed at Tom for no reason (well, no reason other than he pushed me over straight into the sexiest girl in the fluids department, but hey, on a good day that would be a good thing, right?) and I'm pissed off about money, and how my parents would rather have me dependent on James B who they claim to hate then actually offer me anything to help, and how I'm letting everyone down by not wanting to spend my limited savings on meals out and old cars, and I wouldn't even be worrying about cars if my parents weren't so damn crap, and about to car boot everything I ever cared for (and I know it's only stuff, but it's books, and..) for 20p each despite having just decided their house is worth vast amounts, and they're going to mess up Rhys and Arran because they don't care about them even though I do, and they're going to fall out from the entire family and I#ll be stuck in the middle, and people are dead or dying and everything is horrid. I just keep crying on M, and then last night he wasn't there, and I couldn't sleep. So now I'm tired and pissed off, which is even worse. And he's not in his office. And I feel so antisocial, I keep not going to parties, and not going out with M last night, because I need sleep, and need to do maths, and I wish it would all go away... At least it's stopped raining.