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Poll #571576… - Sally's Journal
September 16th, 2005
11:44 am

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From:atreic
Date:September 16th, 2005 10:55 am (UTC)
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Oh, no-one who anyone knows, a person-with-no-LJ I know from when I was an undergrad.

But it's a phenomina I've noticed before (naming no names, tienelle and chess) and it's something that sits really uneasilly with my habit of telling-people-everything.
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From:naath
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:01 am (UTC)
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We all knew about Nick'n'Chess... how did you not?

I think that partially people just sort of go from 'this is new and I'm not going to jinx it' to 'everyone knows anyway' without realising that you never found out, especially if they see you often. Personally I do 'is this really a thing? is this thing going to work? are they going to kill me if I say things in public?' before getting arround to 'why bother announcing things, everyone noticed'.

Also, some people, like the 'tee hee no one noticed us being terribly obvious, aren't they thick', which can infact be *very funny*.
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From:atreic
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:06 am (UTC)
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Well, you do live with them. I found out that Chess was engaged from a random LJ comment in someone elses LJ, and she didn't tell her own LJ until *much* later (months after the event, if I recall).
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From:enismirdal
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:22 am (UTC)
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Oh, it's those two? I think they are fairly discreet couplewise. I seem to remember I caught on from hints on their LJs/in person, but only really got confirmation when they announced their engagement a while back.
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From:deborah_c
Date:September 16th, 2005 02:36 pm (UTC)
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She's engaged? *blink*
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From:atreic
Date:September 16th, 2005 02:52 pm (UTC)
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See, that's exactly the kind of thing I mean. ghoti posted "Who wants to be on my wedding filter" and I replied saying "I could do with finding out about weddings" and Chess followed up saying "me too". And I was like "do you mean what I think you mean?" and she did. But I think she posted to LJ about it eventually, and she does wear a very pretty ring on the appropriate finger, so it's fairly obvious once you know. They're planning on getting married August next year I think.

Assuming we're talking about the same chess
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From:aiwendel
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:39 am (UTC)
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mmm I'm with you, I think things easily go from "is this real?" to "everyone knows anyway" and announcing things then seems silly :)
From:stephdairy
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:04 am (UTC)
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Except with people I talk to and witter at (which is quite a large set, admittedly) I probably wouldn't explicitly tell people I was in a relationship, at least not at first. I'd probably go `um, well, er, yeah, see' if asked.

I'm at once a very private person who enjoys having secrets and a person who feels the need to tell close friends those same secrets.

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From:senji
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:41 am (UTC)
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Lots of times it's "well, we're sort of going out" or what have you, and enunciating that sort of thing is often quite hard.
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From:cartesiandaemon
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:46 am (UTC)
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Oh, no-one who anyone knows, a person-with-no-LJ I know from when I was an undergrad.

Have you taken the 'cambridge is very small[1] (tm)' effect into account? :)

As to whether it's odd... I don't know. It depends partly how you see them; if you see them alone it's easier to talk about, if you see them in groups it might seem too odd to just blurt it out, though you'd think it would have come up at some point.

[1] Last night I discovered susan went to school with Tim and Tom.
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From:atreic
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:51 am (UTC)
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Well, OK. Cambridge *is* very small. I should have said "no-one steph knows" and even that may have been proved untrue.

I only know Tom and Susan because they went to school with Tim! Or do I only know Tim and Susan because they went to school with Tom? Something like that...

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From:cartesiandaemon
Date:September 16th, 2005 11:56 am (UTC)
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Yes, something like that. Though they were all in our year doing maths too.
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