Poll #571576… - Sally's Journal
Friends who don't tell you they're in a relationship for the first 5 months
Look, just because you feel you have to tell the world everything doesn't mean everyone else does too
Some people just don't want to jinx things before they know where they're going
It's OK they didn't tell you because they didn't tell anyone else
How dare they spend three years whinging at you they don't have a girlfriend and then not bother to tell you when they do!
They're just mathmo / compsci types who don't know how to communicate, just pity them
They like wielding the Power and Intrigue that having Secrets gives them
Look, everyone knows you're a gossip, who in their right minds would tell you anything?
Of course, we're now all madly speculating about who you're talking about!
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 10:52 am (UTC)|| |
I wouldn't go /that/ far...
*chooses random tickyboxes as is ignorant of persons involved*
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 11:06 am (UTC)|| |
I don't tell if I'm not asked. I don't keep things actively secret, but I've had things escape people's notice just because I haven't been asked.
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 11:20 am (UTC)|| |
I don't feel I can ever ask though. I mean, if people have been stressed that they don't have a girlfriend for ages, coming out with "By the way, do you have a girlfriend yet" doesn't make one popular. And even "Gosh, you haven't whinged about not having a girlfriend for ages, does that mean you've got one?" isn't going to go down well whatever the answer is.
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 11:07 am (UTC)|| |
Maybe they just forgot they hadn't already told you? I forgot to tell one of my best friends when I broke up with Andrew because I thought I'd told her and not the other one instead.
Yes, but that's just because it's us. I don't think you could apply that as a blanket rule to the world ;)
(Memo to self - I owe you a proper life-update [such as it is] e-mail. Prod me if one hasn't arrived after the weekend.)
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 11:28 am (UTC)|| |
Telling a known gossip saves the effort of telling everyone yourself l-)
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 11:43 am (UTC)|| |
Maybe one should issue press releases to gossips?
*nods* I tell the world everything, and just really feel uncomfortable when someone close holds back important life stuff like that. I can understand if people forget, or if they need asking before telling (and I *do* ask), but sometime people deny things even in the face of overwhelming evidence, and that just irritates me. Just last week I booked a trip to Riga with my best friend C, and it was only when she forwarded me info on the hostel booking did I notice that she'd booked a double room to share with her friend D. I've chatted with her a few times since, and she's still not admitted to being in a relationship with him. She even deletes any comments he posts on her LJ that give any hint that they may be together. Is most odd. :/
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 11:54 am (UTC)|| |
They don't realise that they're in a relationship, despite it being obvious to everyone.
that's actually a very good point, some people would give public announcements at the first date, others wait until much much later :) I remember having past conversations along the line of "are we going out then?" "I suppose we are" :)
Was it a case of not telling you or not making a big fuss over an announcement, and just leaving it to the grapevine?
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 01:00 pm (UTC)|| |
Being me when people don't tell me things it is because they are afraid the other person would be frightened of me or 'removed'.
Never underestimate the power of jinxing it. I speak as one who knows. Actually, it usually goes pear-shaped when I don't tell anyone, either, but that just makes me glad I didn't.
|Date:||September 16th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC)|| |
So you're sure they're a friend? And you have spoken in the last five months?
I find it appaling, but it's not the first time I've come across it. on reflection 'and' might be a better conjunction than 'but' for that sentence.
|Date:||September 17th, 2005 05:04 pm (UTC)|| |
Ditto the first not wanting to jinx it slipping into assuming everyone knows without realizing someone doesn't; this happens to me all the time. (I'm the one who doesn't know, I mean, because people tend to assume I'll have heard, and I never do)