Log in

No account? Create an account
Sally's Journal
June 20th, 2005
11:50 am


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Wedding Logistics... help and advice appreciated

I'm probably going to want a wedding rehersal and dinner with wedding party on Friday night (like teleute did) I'm almost certainly going to want the Important Wedding People (bridesmaids, best man, parents) to wake up in Cambridge on the Saturday. (The london based bridesmaids probably wouldn't need to, but they're going to be a great calming influence on me so I need them there, it would be impossible to keep my mum away without offending her greatly, and the little bridesmaids live in Sheffield and the best man in Liverpool, at which point I want them safely in the right town the day before).

I'm going to need somewhere where I, my mother, and four bridesmaids can get ready. (My father probably needs to end up where the Men's Outfits are. The two blokes-of-bridesmaids need somewhere to get ready too, preferably out of my hair.)

Matthew will need to get ready somewhere. So will his parents, and his best man (his brother) and his wife. He doesn't seem very clear what men do on their wedding morning, and I don't have a clue either. I know I end up in a big gaggle of female relatives, bridesmaids, hairdresses and make-up people, but I don't know if there's an equivalent for him. Seems a bit sad for him just to be getting ready on his own (and I need someone sane there to stop him from doing a runner!)

Everyone mentioned above (as well as presumably quite a few people who I don't *have* to sort out, but who will expect guidence) will need somewhere to stay Saturday night after the wedding.

Points to note:

People (well, piqueen) have made the very valid point that the friday night people don't want to have to check out of one friday-night place and sleep in a different saturday-night place, having carted their stuff round the wedding.

I don't want to get ready on my wedding day somewhere where I can't run round half nekkid and burst into tears / stress / shout at people. This rules out hotels where there may be random people in the same place I am.

I don't want to have to get ready near Matthews parents

Matthew does not want to get ready near my mother (and therefor me)

Honey Hill Mews has one smallish double room, one smallish single room, and one large cupboard. This will not sleep 13 people.

The two adult bridesmaids and best man come with partners, the two little bridesmaids have two brothers and two parents

It would be nice if the place people end up on Saturday night isn't too far away from the evening reception (guildhall)

It would be nice if this doesn't bankrupt us.

I can't think of anything else relavent, but feel free to ask...

I mean, how do people handle this nowadays? If I had parents in Cambridge and could take over their house then that would be fine, and it would be fine, but I don't. What I really need is to rent a place the size of Rivendell for two days. Someone must have solved this already...

In other news, I've picked up my ball ticket for tomorrow *bounce* *squee* *mayweek* *panic that M won't want to dance to cheesy discos and we'll cry all night* and while my data is still screwed, I have a nice long continuous 7 second log exhibiting the screwedness most clearly, so there is hope yet.

(31 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 11:12 am (UTC)
Can you rent rooms in college perhaps?
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 11:22 am (UTC)
Possibly... it's a Saturday in term though, and I don't know about Selwyn, but the Queens' guest rooms are really spread out over the college.
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 11:14 am (UTC)
I feel I should point out that I'm perfectly happy with the idea of getting dressed by myself Being able to do so at home might be good too :)
[User Picture]
Date:June 21st, 2005 08:03 pm (UTC)
Of course, but it is traditional to have a best man or best friends or someone there to take care of any organisational problems and just in case give moral support ;)

One possibility might be for one of you to take over a friend's large house for getting ready (Perhaps with parents or friends joining you there from B&Bs), which does have the problem of forgotten stuff at home, but so does almost every other solution.

I would offer Ambiguity if you needed it, but I'm sure there would be closer, larger houses occupied by people you know better if you were to look at that route.

Best of luck, it sounds like you've got it covered :)
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 11:24 am (UTC)
re the cheesy discos. You can always abandon me near a supply of free booze whilst you go and dance :-)
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 11:26 am (UTC)
I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat of somebody! Oh, I wanna dance with somebody. Oh, with somebody who loves me. Or at least who I can snog drunkenly
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 11:42 am (UTC)
I'm afraid we threw money at the logistics problem and booked rooms in the hotel we were having our reception at. I stayed there the night before (I had a suite so plenty of room to get ready in the morning), my bridesmaids and parents came in from 10 miles away early in the morning, most of the other guests either stayed or met the coaches there (we bussed people in to the centre of Oxford - well, it was that or Park & Ride). I agree that your logic for wanting everyone around is good - I used it myself - but I can't come up with any workable suggestions for you I'm afraid. :(
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 11:49 am (UTC)
To be honest, it's as nice knowing that this was what other people had to do as knowing that they all did really clever things. I feel much better going to my mum saying "look, I've spoken to lots of people and this is what they had to do too", than feeling "well, I just can't find anything that works, so we'll have to give up and book hotel rooms".

I'm a bit twitchy about hotels as I don't stay in hotels often (read never, I'm very much a B+B and camping person) and I want somewhere where I'll feel relaxed, and not have difficulty walking to my mums room semi dressed for a chat etc. How did that all work?
Date:June 20th, 2005 12:36 pm (UTC)
We also went the hotel route, at least for Ash and the bridesmaids. We found a bed-and-breakfast who I've worked with before, booked up several rooms for the Friday and Saturday nights, and they used the biggest room for getting ready in.

As for me, I just hung out in Falkirk the previous night (with two of the bridesmaids who would rather not pay for two hotel nights), and then went over to Edinburgh, dropped them off, and went to my parents' to meet up with the best men and get dressed.

Anyway, as above. Any half-decent hotel will be able to provide a few rooms next to each other (go with a family-run B&B if you can, they'll be much more willing to bend the rules on things like having cleaners running around while you're getting ready). Book it for both nights to avoid carting-stuff-around problem. Family rooms for the two little bridesmaids. Tell the blokes-of-bridesmaids to get ready in their own room. See if the people staying in the B&B are happy to help with the cost - after all, if you weren't arranging this, they'd have to find somewhere to stay anyway.

Put Matthew and his brother and wife in Honey Hill Mews? Men won't take nearly as long to get ready - all we have to do is shower, shave and suit up. Get a taxi from there to the wedding venue.

If you take a double room in the B&B for the Friday night, then Matthew's brother and his wife can use it on the Saturday night, thus avoiding room changes.

Good luck, and drop us a line if you can think of anything that we might be able to help with...
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 12:59 pm (UTC)
Put Matthew and his brother and wife in Honey Hill Mews? Men won't take nearly as long to get ready - all we have to do is shower, shave and suit up. Get a taxi from there to the wedding venue.
Yup, that's what ours did - groom, best man, their younger brother, and best man's wife stayed at our house and got a taxi in.

Experience says: if you go down this route do make it very clear just who is booking (and paying for) said taxi. Do not ring the bride at 11.55pm the night before and say 'er, did you book us a taxi then?'... [Me: No, you are four grown adults - three Oxbridge graduates - in possession of a phone and a phone book. I think you can figure it out yourselves. At which point they failed entirely to book a 'proper' taxi (black cab) and arrived squashed into a minicab!]
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 12:37 pm (UTC)

what men do on their wedding morning

Find some clothes, return the sheep and traffic cone to their rightful owner, attempt to get back from John O'Groats in time for the wedding.
Date:June 20th, 2005 12:43 pm (UTC)

Re: what men do on their wedding morning

Heh. I avoided all that by having the stag night on the Thursday.
Date:June 20th, 2005 02:04 pm (UTC)
Ralph's family (8 people) are renting a cottage in
Epworth for a week around the wedding. This worked out
cheaper and lots nicer than hotel rooms for them for
the friday and saturday night. I just searched for
holiday cottages on google, you should find a few
around Cambridge.

[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 03:08 pm (UTC)
It was slightly easier for us, what with having a whole college to play with. Howeer, Adrian booked a room in the same hotel that his parents and family were staying in (college rooms being too lowly for them. Or something), and his best man stayed over there too. So Adrian was with them all evening. In the morning I believe he had a long lie in, eventually got up and dressed enough to get to the bar, had a few drinks, wrote his speech and finally changed into his wedding gear ;-).

I stayed at home, and the bridesmaids stayed in college. In the morning we had hairdresser appointments and so on, so we all met up and went into town (fairly safe in the knowledge that Adrian was still asleep). Then there was much primping and tapnig me into my dress (toupee tape! it's the only way to go! And adds a whole new dimension to getting undressed *sigh*).

Then as we did individual photos in college, we had lookouts to make sure Adrian and I didn't run into each other before we met at the alter :-)
Date:June 20th, 2005 03:12 pm (UTC)
Our wedding arrangements were much less organised than most of this sounds. G's parents and some old London friends came up the previous night and stayed in a B&B (which they arranged themselves). My parents drove over from Oxford on the wedding morning, and drove home in the evening part way through the reception (we had been on quite bad terms for a while before the wedding, and they didn't really play much part in organising it, except for bringing a cake). On the wedding morning, I got ready in the bedroom in our flat and G got ready in the living room (so that he wouldn't see my dress). My bridesmaid turned up about an hour before the ceremony, and the two of us took a taxi to the registry office. G's best man arrived around the same time, and the two of them walked to the registry office (to calm G's nerves and queasiness!).

That was it. Most of our arranging was focused on the registry office and the Castle, where we had our reception. No hotels were involved at any point! The whole lot, including clothes, rings, reception, registry office fees and honeymoon, came to under £2000.
Date:June 20th, 2005 03:26 pm (UTC)
Here's my logistics:

We have 3 adult bridesmaids, 1 best man, 1 partner of best man, 4 parents, 2 partners-of-parents, 6 siblings (one of these is a bridesmaid), 1 partner-of-sibling, 2 blokes-of-bridesmaids and a photographer. They're all invited (with a varying degree of compulsion) to the rehearsal and an evening meal afterward which I MUST BOOK EEEEEK!

They've all arranged their own accommodation over the weekend (Friday and Saturday nights). My father is paying for him, his partner, my brothers and my brother's girlfriend to stay in one B&B. My mother and her partner are somewhere else. Tony's mother and sisters and sister's boyfriend are booked into a third place. Tony's father is in a fourth, which may actually be the same place as my dad, but my dad couldn't remember the name to confirm this *sigh*. I don't know about best man and his girlfriend yet, but they've assured me they can look after themselves. That leaves two bridesmaids, a bridesmaid's-bloke, and a photographer who live in or near Cambridge.

The bridesmaids and I have makeup booked from 10:30-2:30 and hair (in the same place, 10 minutes walk from my house) booked from 11-1. There are some entertaining logistics to do with which order we each get done by which professional (I am going to be printing a sheet so I don't spend ages confusing people on the day), but that's not really what you're asking. At this point, I have to have the tunic of my dress on, because it won't fit over the hairdo. The bridesmaids have more convenient dresses.

I don't know what Tony and Mike are doing during this time, and not sure if they do either. Someone suggested they go for a proper barber's shave and haircut as an equivalent of girly preening, but I doubt anything has been arranged. All other relations/attachments are assumed to be capable of looking after themselves or each other wherever they are staying, and are "off duty" until the wedding at 3:30.

We should be out of the hair and beauty by 2pm (the booking until 2:30 is just my paranoia), and home by 2:15. We get clothes, shoes, jewellery etc on, check each other looks ok, and drink bucks fizz. Tony and Mike are allowed to be around at this point (although possibly retired to his room to escape the girliness). All other housemates have been warned to stay out of the way (not necessarily out of the house) during the morning. We should be all present and correct by 3pm. At 3:15 the six of us leave the house by car for Trinity.

The only thing that changes on Saturday night is that Tony & I are sleeping in a hotel and one of the bridesmaids and her bloke are having our room rather than driving home (outside Cambridge).

I think the best man's job is to stop the groom going mad or running away or as Mike put it "making sure Tony isn't coding in his socks half an hour before the ceremony".

My suggestion for you would be to take over two houses on Saturday morning: one for you + mother + bridesmaids and one for Matthew + best man. Anyone else should only be included if they will make you feel more relaxed/happy. E.g. the families of the little bridesmaids with you, Matthew's parents + sister in law with him. While you don't have parents in Cambridge, you have one place of your own and you probably have people in Cambridge ask to borrow a house on Saturday morning (in principle I'd be prepared to offer mine, but I'd need all my housemates to be happy with the idea ...)
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 03:55 pm (UTC)

Zebix Wedding Logistics

With Matt and I we both have to travel to Basingstoke along witheveryone else, which is a downside, but his parents live in different places, which is good in this instance.

We have an exceedingly complex plan which boils down to my family staying in a hotel on both the Friday and Saturday nights (and me sleeping in the same hotel with them on the Friday night Wedding Eve) but on The Morning on Saturday my family arrives en masse from the hotel and we take over Matt's Mums house for running around in flapping and doing hair.

Matt flees the house before we arrive and he, the ushers, the best man and his Dad all get ready at his Dads house so they can not-be-able-to-tie-their cravats together in manly solidarity.

This also means that both Mums get to fiddle with The Dress (at least for as long as my patience allows) and Matt has his father and best man to make sure he gets there in time and prevent him changing his mind for fear of my wrath when it turns out he *still* hasn't written his speech by that stage :-).
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 03:57 pm (UTC)

Re: Zebix Wedding Logistics

Yes, I do like the idea of Matthew being around people. Err, not that I'm scared he'll do a runner or anything...
[User Picture]
Date:June 20th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC)

Nothing too original here either...

When aegidian and I got married, my mother and my son (who was then aged 14 months) stayed with me in our one-bedroom flat. Everyone else who was likely to be needed more than an hour or so before the ceremony stayed in a nearby hotel. Since we weren't having the wedding itself there, it didn't have to be terribly grand or expensive, although we did have a pre-wedding dinner there the night before to introduce the families to each other. From memory, the people who stayed there were my parents, aegidian's parents and grandparents (2 sets of), aegidian, the best man, the bridesmaid, the bridesmaid's parents and grandmother, and my grandparents. We only paid for aegidian (and his best man, since they shared a room) - everyone else paid for their own rooms, which is or used to be the traditional etiquette for such matters, although I believe the practice is changing.

When djm4 and I got married, we had an evening ceremony. He and I, aegidian and asrana and the kids all stayed at our house as usual, and some very kind friends came over during the afternoon to help us ferry stuff and people to the venue during the afternoon. rosefox and my parents were the only people who lived too far away to travel on the day - rosefox stayed with us and joined in the chaos, and my parents stayed in a hotel about a mile down the road from us.
Date:June 21st, 2005 12:06 am (UTC)
For our Cambridge-area event, we had relatives book themselves in to Cambridge B&Bs and the Travelodge and whatever. We hired a minibus for helping out with transporting people on the day. If anyone were to be with the groom that morning, it would tend to be male wedding party members, especially the best man.
[User Picture]
Date:June 25th, 2005 02:36 pm (UTC)
We sort of broke most of the rules because we could. Susan stayed in a hotel in town with the Best Chick, who was also booked in for the night following the wedding. No other bridesmaids, the Best Man lived in Cambridge so he didn't have a problem with accommodation. We got married at Newnham so the BM collected the BC and the bride from the hotel in his battered old Nova and took them to the college, I arrived about the same time. As Susan made her own wedding cake, she spent some time setting that up (useful to have a distraction on the day, she says) and then went to a college-supplied room to change into her wedding kit along with the BC. Somewhere we've got some interesting photos of the two of them sitting fully-clothed in a bath (one at a time, big wedding dresses take up a lot of space...)

Because we had a civil ceremony on-site, there was no hassle transporting people between ceremony and reception, it was out from one to the garden for photos and then in another door for the food. (Also why we economised on the car, it wasn't really needed).

Remember the words in large, friendly letters on the front of the book...

Powered by LiveJournal.com