Have finally stopped ranting and started working (well, a bit).
Not sure if this is actually because I'm happier and more certain about anything after talking about it all, or if it's because I've pulled myself together, pushed it all to one side again, and reassesmbled all the walls one needs to keep going from day to day.
Apologies to Tom, who always has to hear all the bad things when I don't know if I mean them or not.
Slept for 11 hours. That was a Good Thing.
I hate the thought that the only way to be happy is to be small minded and content with where you are, and that any type of planning and worrying and caring about people other than yourself will just fill you so full of fears and break you.
Anyway, enough of this!