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Sally's Journal
December 14th, 2004
10:19 am


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Doom and gloom, but it's always darkest before the dawn?
Errrgh, that was a grim couple of days.

Sunday morning was lovely, we were running a taxi service for L to get to LSM (there has to be an L,S,M joke in there, but I can't find it) and while she seemed to be unusually shy and untalkative (boggle) it was bright and sunny and the walk from Selwyn (where parking is easy) to LSM was great fun. Sadly I had to abandon them there to go to the DPO and slave away finishing off (well, giving up on) my coursework, but naomir said he did a great job of playing Daddy ;-) . I was much better off than one poor guy who was there frantically trying to track down the mystery bug in his basic code, which turned out to be nothing to do with his perfectly functional basic code (which compiled and ran fine on my machine) and something mystic to do with the compile file he was using. Oh well, he downloaded the compile file again and it worked, but he'd been trying to fix that bug since Friday and was not a happy bunny. I had a lovely lunch with M at Clowns, although felt slightly sick and stressed all the way through it, and then finished off the write-up, and came home and imposed on M for hours. I always feel so bad about doing it, but he knows so much more than me, has much better search features than most books, and is far cuter with it. I have a bad habit of doing this on #chiark too... I hope I didn't spoil the weekends of our numerous engineering computer people...

M taught me how to spell-check in emacs, taught me how to break latex to my will, humoured me when I suddenly realised all my pictures were too small and I wanted to get them back out of epsi format so I could print them out as a full page appendix, and then drove me round on a doom-filled attempt to actually do the printing - the DPO printers don't over the weekend, the home printer died, the Queens' printer looked well and truly broken, and eventually we ended up in the Whittle lab at 7 o'clock on Sunday night. This is not nearly as scarey as the number of people who were actually *working*, quite quietly and happily, in the Whittle at 7 o'clock on Sunday night.

Anyway, mad dash round town to hand in, and then a wonderful Christmas dinner with all the trimmings with the remaining Queens' people and their friends. Good to hear the gossip about Miklos (who I haven't see all term) and Ed (who it feels like I haven't seen all term) and really nice to be hanging around with other new PhD people and getting a sense of perspective. And the food was *great*, and the house is as lovely as Rivendell (grrrr... :-) ) But we're not in an area blacklisted by Diamond Taxis...

Then Monday was stress on a stick. All I wanted to do was to meet with my supervisor, to get back on track after the CFD coursework, and also to find out what on earth was going on on Wednesday so I knew whether to cancel / confirm Tuesdays or Wednesdays dinner plans. Yes, I know I shouldn't give my social life too high a priority, but I shouldn't mess around my friends either. He ignored me all day, and then finally had the time to meet with me at 5 o'clock in the evening, which was fine, except by then I was tired and depressed and drained and couldn't answer any of the questions he asked me - it felt just like a Cambridge interview all over again. And I left feeling he was so disappointed in me and that I hadn't done enough all term, when I did think I'd been working fairly hard and consistently :-( Ah well, I was too late to drop off I's books already, so I tried not to sit and brood and dashed off into the night. To nearly cycle straight into some morons jumping the red light at the top of Burrels walk. Much swearing and crying later, a helpful random passer by asked if I was alright, only to magically be John Rudge, (which gave me guilt as I've been failing to arrange to see him all term... :-( ) Nice to see him, hope the circumstances are better next time. Then I got shouted at by the trinity porter for inconsiderately wheeling my bike through his p'lodge. I can almost see his point but a) my bike tires can't possibly be dirtier than the shoes of people walking on the same earth, and b) his scheme for getting through the gate would not have worked. Ever.

Ah well. Gave I her books back (I'm really greatful she lent them to me, hopefully they're still in good enough nick I can scrounge the next set off her :-) ) by now completely on the verge of tears and shouting, which is a great shame, because it would have been really nice to have coffee and a chat and get to know her a bit better, as she seems to be a lovely person as well as a great library... ah well, dash to pizza and collapse on Matthew. Manage not to shout at any geeks (not that any of them gave me cause to, but I was really beyond breaking point at this point) and then M took me to the cinema and I just sank into Phantom and cried my eyes out. Which is probably what I needed as I feel much better this morning. If somewhat late.

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:December 14th, 2004 05:23 am (UTC)
I've been wanting to call for a chat but waiting until doom was over. Is it safe to come out now? Would you like to come down and see me this weekend?
[User Picture]
Date:December 20th, 2004 03:41 pm (UTC)
Glad to hear you somehow survived the evening, and hope everything's going better for you.

And never fear, my Tamora Pierce books shall be back next term for you to borrow. (I haven't had a look at the ones you gave back, but they don't look any different from when you borrowed them, so no worries there. :)

Any other books you want to borrow, after the other Pierce ones? (I'm not sure I have anything similar... I really ought to catalogue my books. :)

Nice to see you at the end of term, though, and have a merry Christmas.
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