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Do you want to see more of me? (no, not like the socks pictures :-p)… - Sally's Journal
October 19th, 2005
09:11 am

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Do you want to see more of me? (no, not like the socks pictures :-p)




Poll #593645 Stretched thin and obsessive

Atreic spends...

Too much time with me, but I can't find a polite way to get rid of her
1(2.1%)
Too much time with me, but I do enjoy it too
0(0.0%)
About the right amount of time with me
3(6.4%)
Not enough time with me, but *shrug*, that's life
29(61.7%)
Not enough time with me, and I'm getting angry about how hard it is to catch her when she's free
0(0.0%)
Huh? She's an LJ person, why would I want to *see* her?
4(8.5%)

If Atreic were to brutally cull the number of people she attempts to socialise with

I would not worry, I know I'm important enough to survive the cull and then I'd see more of her
3(7.0%)
I would worry, and want to survive the cull
16(37.2%)
I wouldn't care, she's nice but so are lots of people
8(18.6%)
I wouldn't care, she's really an Evil Bitch of Dooom!
0(0.0%)
Huh? She's an LJ person - I can go from never seeing her to never seeing her, and you want me to worry about this?
8(18.6%)

It is better to have

A small group of good friends that you pay enough attention to to know where they are in life and be kind and supportive to them
17(38.6%)
A sprawling social mass of wonderful people who you spend your entire time failing to see and forgetting their birthdays
11(25.0%)

This poll, and the ideas behind it are

not necessary, as you've been balencing everything well and seem happy
10(40.0%)
necessary, you're so busy your friends feel neglected and your work is suffering
9(36.0%)
not necessary, as everyone hates you anyway :-)
2(8.0%)

Atreic is

Procrastinating reading the MMP website the hour before her interview
41(100.0%)

(27 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
From:ex_robhu
Date:October 19th, 2005 08:16 am (UTC)
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It would be nice to have more of your time - but you have a lot of much older and more important friendships - that's just the way things are.
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From:wildeabandon
Date:October 19th, 2005 08:42 am (UTC)
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I couldn't really answer questions 2-4 as none of the answers quite fit, but I would like to say that I entirely empathise with this post. People sometimes think I'm quite odd for saying that I do not want to meet new and interesting people at the moment, but I know it would just suck even more time away from the established friendships with interesting people that I don't really have enough time for at the moment, and if I just avoid meeting the new ones, I won't feel as though I'm missing out.
From:tamsinj
Date:October 19th, 2005 09:11 am (UTC)
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me too. i never could fill in polls where the multi-choice options didn't match what i felt.
ooh, no radio-buttons. that solves q3

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From:atreic
Date:October 19th, 2005 10:35 am (UTC)
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I hate radio buttons for exactly that reason :-)
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From:gerald_duck
Date:October 19th, 2005 09:23 am (UTC)
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In the second question, there wasn't an option for "people aren't interchangeable, and it would be a shame if I saw less of her, but equally I understand full well how hectic social lives can become". I erred on the side of expressing a desire to survive the cull, at the expense of thereby implying wrongly that I would be mortally offended were I culled.

Then again, we've only ever met twice, and that's clearly not often enough. (-8
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From:gerald_duck
Date:October 19th, 2005 09:24 am (UTC)

PS: ...

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PS: Socks pictures?!?
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From:libellum
Date:October 19th, 2005 09:27 am (UTC)
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I can't fill this out - the answers would be I want to see more of you, but I have no time, so I can't, and the idea of seeing *anyone* at the moment is filling me with dread because of how stressed I am. So, not very helpful really.
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From:ixwin
Date:October 19th, 2005 10:07 am (UTC)
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My answer to question two is not so much "I wouldn't care" as "I would be slightly disappointed, but would understand completely and not be hugely distressed about it."
From:nlj21
Date:October 19th, 2005 10:14 am (UTC)
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How did the interview go?
<input ... >Really well! They offered me a job on the spot!!
<input ... >Ok. They've asked me back for a second interview.
<input ... >Don't really know.
<input ... >Rather embarrassing. I forgot to change out of my socks outfit before going to the interview!
<input ... >Go away! I don't want to talk about it.
From:nlj21
Date:October 19th, 2005 10:15 am (UTC)
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Grrrr. LJ seems to have filtered out checkboxes in comments.
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From:atreic
Date:October 19th, 2005 10:37 am (UTC)
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I'll know on Friday. I thought it went OK, but I have a feeling they'll have people with more experience again.
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From:francita
Date:October 19th, 2005 10:21 am (UTC)
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There are bits of this that I definitely can't answer properly because I hardly know you in person. So, yes, in a way, you are an LJ person, but one I would very much like to "re-meet" in real life.

Also, I would be sad if you disappeared off LJ.
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From:atreic
Date:October 19th, 2005 10:38 am (UTC)
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if you disappeared off LJ

Because, yeah, I'm going to get my huge LJ addiction under control *real soon now*. Honest ;-)
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From:king_of_wrong
Date:October 19th, 2005 11:55 am (UTC)
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Tickybox!
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From:cartesiandaemon
Date:October 19th, 2005 12:32 pm (UTC)
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Was the "Too much time with me, but I can't find a polite way to get rid of her" Matthew?

Um, badly phrased questions. (Who *would* mean that first one? Most people who saw too much of me would be too polite to say it like that, they'd say "Oh, but").

I ticked "not enough time, but that's life" but didn't mean "that's life" in a bad way, just that it is always true that none of us have enough time to know everyone.

I ticked both "I would worry, and want to survive the cull" and "I wouldn't care, she's nice but so are lots of people" on the grounds that again it's lovely to spend time with you, but I wouldn't be offended if you couldn't.

"A small group of good friends that you pay enough attention to to know where they are in life and be kind and supportive to them" or "A sprawling social mass of wonderful people who you spend your entire time failing to see and forgetting their birthdays"

I really, really wish I knew. Maybe divide time into (a) a small group of hopefully also with each other friends, and (b) seeing some of everyone else.

Logically, the world is full of people I *would* be friends with but have barely met, so why are people I know a bit so much harder to say "I don't have time" about? Yet I find it impossible to see someone more at the expense of someone else...
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From:atreic
Date:October 19th, 2005 12:49 pm (UTC)
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Was the "Too much time with me, but I can't find a polite way to get rid of her" Matthew?

No, it was me :-)

Who *would* mean that first one?

I don't know. I feel that I've been imposing a bit on at least one person at the moment (given I arm twisted them into spending my birthday with me and they then ended up marking at 6am the day after) and I thought if they'd been looking for an opportunity to tell me to back off raising it myself in an LJ poll might help.
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From:cartesiandaemon
Date:October 19th, 2005 12:55 pm (UTC)
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No, it was me :-)

ROFL. Would cloning help, or make it worse?

I thought if they'd been looking for an opportunity to tell me to back off raising it myself in an LJ poll might help.

Possibly, but I would have put "Generally the right amount of time but just recently I was slightly overwhelmed because I had too many other things to do" or something...
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From:cartesiandaemon
Date:October 19th, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC)
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ROFL. Would cloning help, or make it worse?

Speaking of cloning: http://arloandjanis.com/wuvoo.htm
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From:arnhem
Date:October 19th, 2005 07:09 pm (UTC)
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You weren't imposing, and it was a very nice time indeed even if I did summarise it into a shamefully short sentence. L. enjoyed seeing you lots too (and I've very large amounts of time for people who are nice to L., on top of any pleasure I may get from their company).

I'm a big grown-up (I like to think), and am even up to letting you know when things are convenient or not. [ And being so grown-up, I'm amazingly good at procrastinating marking until it comes and bites me; getting it done early in the morning's been rather effective this week, though ]

If that's what's triggered this poll, can I just blush embarrassedly and suggest it wasn't necessary.
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From:sphyg
Date:October 19th, 2005 12:36 pm (UTC)
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You're doing better than me. I don't even have time/energy/bandwith to reply to email.
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From:sphyg
Date:October 19th, 2005 12:37 pm (UTC)
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(smiley included)
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From:whatifoundthere
Date:October 19th, 2005 02:35 pm (UTC)
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Just because you're an LJ person doesn't mean I don't want to meet you.
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From:ilanin
Date:October 19th, 2005 03:09 pm (UTC)
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Wom. Um, I mean, yes, I did contradict myself repeatedly in that poll. I probably hold most of those opinions at various different times though.

*hug*
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From:sashajwolf
Date:October 19th, 2005 06:41 pm (UTC)
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I'd like to see more of you, but I realise that given we've only ever met in person once, and given how busy we both are, the only way this is going to be realistic is if I continue my campaign of coming to more general social events in Cambridge :-)
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From:arnhem
Date:October 19th, 2005 07:19 pm (UTC)
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The difficulty with these questions is that they don't permit the nuance of "enjoy the pleasure of your company and conversation immensely" mixed with "concern that this should be compatible with your collective happiness and contentment".

And the difficulty is knowing whether to trust ones concerns and patronisingly impose them on others, or regard the concerns as being over-biased by ones own outlook and/or hangups.
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From:robert_jones
Date:October 19th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
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I'm inclined to think that the poll is unnecessary because these aren't the sort of issues which you can resolve by polling your friends.
From:cjp39
Date:October 22nd, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC)
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Waiiiiiiit ... are you telling me LJ polls are supposed to be (or ever have been) necessary? _O.o_
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