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All I have to do is dream... - Sally's Journal
July 29th, 2005
10:56 am

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All I have to do is dream...
My subconcious is playing games with me again.

What do you do when you have a really vivid and real dream when something important happened* between you and someone you care about, and you wake up full of emotion and then you realise it hasn't actually happened and life hasn't changed and they won't have a clue what you're remembering when you look at them because it wasn't them!

I mean, I can cope with that. I have a little mantra of "It's a dream, it's not real, get over it, it wasn't them". But while I can be rational, there are still gut responses when there are strong emotional completely unreal memories bouncing round your brain about people, that it can be very hard to filter out.

Is it just me that gets this? It doesn't happen very often, I don't tend to remember dreams, and even then most of them are about completely random things.

*Perhaps you declare undying love, or make mad passionate love, or perhaps you have a screaming row, or maybe they commit some terrible crime against you

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From:ashfae
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:12 am (UTC)
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This used to happen to me quite often. Where applicable (which is to say, if intimacy allowed), I'd try to tell the person in question so that at least they'd understand why I was so flustered. Where not applicable (much more often), I just grit my teeth and try to keep reality and dream seperate. Not fun, but doable.

Emotions are screwy things.
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From:senji
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:19 am (UTC)
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Almost invariably dreams that are vivid enough that I remember them I find are also lucid; so it's not a problem beyond oh, that was a nice dream.
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From:cartesiandaemon
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:20 am (UTC)
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Not to me, but I've heard other people describing it.

Does it/they bear any relation to anything you've been thinking about (or even avoiding thinking about)?
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From:atreic
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:23 am (UTC)
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Well, in this case yes, but not always. Or at least, not always to the best of my knowledge, I will accept mumbo gumbo about what I think I'm worried about and what I'm actually worried about not actually being the same.

Obviously the nice stuff is just my hind brain being sick of behaving itself in real life and wanting to get its fun somehow. I'm not sure why sometimes my subconcious wants my friends to be nasty to me though... *thinks she shouldn't think about this too hard*
From:stephdairy
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:24 am (UTC)
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I get that from time to time. Sometimes it's a right pain and I have to angst about what my subconscious is up to, and talk about it to someone if I can. Sometimes it's a cheering thing that keeps me going in spite of life being crap.

(Sometimes it's just nice to have the subconscious confirm what the conscious thinks it's feeling.)

(S)
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From:atreic
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:47 am (UTC)
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You're getting quite into this LJ comments thing, arn't you :)

How does it feel to be on the dark side? ;)
From:nlj21
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:26 am (UTC)
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I don't tend to remember dreams either, and on the rare occasion I do they tend to feature situations rather than people (*). When I to I tend to wake up; think that was an interesting dream so try to force myself back to sleep to continue the situation; fail to return to the dreamworld; so give up and get up properly.

(*) I'm sure this says something about me.
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From:vyvyan
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:29 am (UTC)
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This happens to me quite often; I am frequently disturbed by the vividness of my dreams, and the intensity of the emotions they provoke in me (usually fury; I am never furious when awake!). Recent ones I can recall involved my parents or G. being unspeakably unreasonable and objectionable, and me screaming and shouting at them in fury, breaking off all relations, running off into the countryside etc. etc. It is quite a relief to wake up and find that nothing bad has happened at all.
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From:requiem_17_23
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:44 am (UTC)
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I once had a dream that the last three months had been a dream, and woke up very unhappy. But in general, I know when I'm dreaming. If circumstances go in a direction I don't like, I try to control them, and that leads to me waking up.

I once had a 'blank' dream, too. Not an unremembered one - a remembered dream with zero content.
From:fluffymormegil
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:49 am (UTC)
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I once had a 'blank' dream, too. Not an unremembered one - a remembered dream with zero content.
How very Zen.
(Deleted comment)
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From:olithered
Date:July 29th, 2005 10:57 am (UTC)
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I have that too sometimes, and afterwards it can be "What a relief that I didn't actually do that." or "Oh, that's a shame that didn't happen.".

Or both :-)
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From:lisekit
Date:July 29th, 2005 11:03 am (UTC)
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It depends what's making you concerned - are your dreams expressing emotions that you feel in real life (fear, anger, love, feeling neglected) that you haven't confronted with that person in real life? If the emotions are no present in any way in your conscious life, you should be able to shrug the dream off pretty easily. Sometimes dreams try to deal with things that we are not dealing with in real life - sometimes we might not even be fully conscious of these feelings or ideas. Do you suspect that your dreaming mind is trying to tell you something that doe apply in real life?
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From:mair_aw
Date:July 29th, 2005 11:08 am (UTC)
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heh. that doesn't happen to me much. I usually remember dreams only when something happens to remind me of them. and then occasionally it's slightly odd when the dream happened a while ago, and I can't remember whether something or other really happened or it was a dream. but not usually important stuff.
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From:ewx
Date:July 29th, 2005 01:08 pm (UTC)
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I have such dreams very occasionally. One of them was distracting for ages...
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From:the_lady_lily
Date:July 29th, 2005 01:14 pm (UTC)
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They do happen to me occasionally. I'm normally fine unless it's an ex/partner involved, because for some reason that hits my emotional centers much harder.

Mind you, I only tend to remember dreams if they are very intense in one way or another anyway, so it's not like I have a category of 'confusing dreams' and 'non-confusing dreams'; 'remembered-for-once dreams' pretty much covers it.
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From:purplepiano
Date:July 29th, 2005 02:22 pm (UTC)
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Yes, rarely but noticeably. But as ashfae said above, it's usually stuff you Can't Talk About with the people involved. Although when the dreams are pleasant, there's not much need to talk about them. After you've got over the *does my brain really think that* reaction, they can just be a nice secret.
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From:geekette8
Date:July 29th, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)
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Not just you! As it happens, last night I dreamt that a male former colleague of mine (on whom I may possibly have had the teeniest of teeny crushes) revealed to me that he was actually a woman, and therefore sleeping with him/her would not count as cheating on Jif. So we did...

The whole dream was explicit/vivid/real enough to have me questioning, today, whether I'm as straight as I think I am! Weird.
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